So, I’ve recently being going through hundreds of different newspaper cuttings, all about cinema buildings in Scotland (don’t ask).What this has taught me is that journalists are exceptionally lazy and unimaginative when it comes to generating a headline… so, to save them the trouble, here’s my pick’n’mix guide to writing a cinema-related headline.

Cinema in trouble? Closing down ? You need one of these headlines:

Curtain falls on cinema
Final curtain for cinema
Curtain to come down at cinema
Last reel at cinema
Final reel at cinema
Credits roll at cinema
Last Picture Show for cinema

New cinema? Opening a new screen? Good news? This list will help:

New role for old cinema
Starring role for new cinema
Curtain up on new cinema
Curtain rises on new cinema
The Big Picture
Full House for cinema opening
Just the ticket!

Special mention goes to the Lothian Courier, who managed to use basically the exact same headline three times within three months, about the then possible closure of the Regal in Bathgate:

A Reel Shame ?
Reel Shame !
A Reel Shame

Sigh.